‘Hug me more, scold me less’: 2,000 anonymous messages reveal childhood struggles

More than 2,000 anonymous messages reflecting on childhood struggles have shed light on the emotional pressures faced by young people in Hong Kong, with many expressing a desire for greater affection and understanding from their parents.

The messages were collected for an emotional healing exhibition titled “Unhappy Confessions,” organized by art and psychological therapy group Not a Gallery at Eslite Bookstore in Causeway Bay earlier this month.

Among the handwritten messages were pleas such as “Scold me less, hug me more” and “Give me a hug,” prompting online discussions about children’s emotional needs and mental health.

The exhibition featured selected messages from more than 2,000 anonymous confession cards written by students and adults reflecting on their childhood experiences. Visitors were also invited to leave encouraging messages for others.

According to statistics cited by the organizer, low self-esteem and feelings of being criticized were the leading reasons students felt unhappy, accounting for more than 50 percent of responses.

Family conflicts and parental expectations ranked second, at around 45 percent, while academic pressure, including public examinations and grades, accounted for approximately 40 percent.

The findings suggest that emotional struggles and family relationships may weigh more heavily on students than academic pressure alone.

One 10-year-old student described being troubled by homework, revision, tutorial classes and arguments between their parents, expressing a simple wish for others to “scold me less and hug me more.”

A 15-year-old also wrote about struggling to understand the meaning of love, saying that although they knew their mother loved them, they could not feel it and simply wished she would “give me a hug.”

A 19-year-old described feeling like a puzzle that could never fit together properly, yet whose pieces were constantly forced into place while they competed with others.

“I feel like a puzzle that can never fit together properly, but people keep forcing the pieces into place. I have to keep racing against others. It’s crazy and exhausting. Please leave me alone!” the teenager wrote.

Adults also shared painful childhood memories. One described growing up as “the process of turning the volume of crying down to silent,” while another compared it to collecting trauma like stamps.

The exhibition also featured mental health books published by the organizer, emotional support merchandise and cartoon characters from the “Emotional Guardians” series, designed by local illustrator Mr Hoi.

The messages prompted emotional reactions online, with netizens calling on parents to pay greater attention to their children’s mental health and replace criticism with affection.

Jovy Hau, founder of Focus Education Group, said visiting the “Unhappy Confessions” exhibition had struck a chord with her, reminding her of the pressure and unhappiness she had observed among children through her daily interactions with them.

“Sometimes, adults assume children are too young to understand or that they will simply get over things. But children have feelings too, and even if they cannot put those feelings into words, it does not mean they are not hurting. Sometimes, what they need most is simply for someone to listen and take their feelings seriously,” she said.

The original poster also encouraged people to take better care of themselves, noting that growing up often brings unexpected burdens and setbacks.

Some netizens also cited lyrics from Eason Chan’s song Shall We Talk, which highlights the gap between children’s desire for happiness and adults’ expectations and calls for greater empathy between generations.

𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗔𝗽𝗽 ↓