The bonus round of life: a columnist’s witty and warm guide to embracing 80

In the early 1970s, young people in their early 20s eagerly bought Gail Sheehy’s best-selling book, Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life. The author had cleverly mapped out adulthood into distinct stages, labeling them as the trying 20s, the catch-30s, the forlorn 40s, and the refreshed or resigned 50s. 

For a 27-year-old at the height of the hippie movement, Woodstock, and newfound personal freedoms, life beyond 50 seemed impossibly distant. At that age, 80 was not considered an ordinary age but rather a distant geological era.

Now, decades later, the reality of aging has arrived with sudden and quiet force. The recent passing of celebrated Malaysian architect Jimmy Lim at 82, along with the unexpected deaths of close schoolmates and the legendary singer Dolly Parton, serves as a poignant reminder that even the most permanent fixtures in life eventually see their tenancy terminated. 

Turning 80 on the 1st of December transforms what once felt like a distant epoch into an impending milestone, prompting a deeply personal exploration of what truly lies beyond this significant threshold.

Redefining the final chapters with curiosity and connection

While the younger self might have optimistically imagined that life effectively wound down after 50, Sheehy herself eventually revised her theories to include an age of mastery and an age of integrity. In this later stage of life, the concept of a mid-life crisis becomes obsolete, as buying a flashy red sports car at 80 would be viewed more as a medical emergency than a psychological reckoning. Rather than negotiating with the finality of aging, the focus shifts entirely to how one chooses to spend the remaining time.

The secret to navigating these years lies not in an obsession with longevity but in a dedication to movement, curiosity, and companionship. Staying active through walking, tennis, pickleball, and writing helps keep the mind sharp, while curiosity remains the ultimate non-prescription anti-aging remedy. 

Instead of looking backward to tally past achievements like an accountant closing financial books, fulfillment is found in looking sideways—appreciating family, friends, a morning sunrise, a fresh cup of coffee, and the endless stream of daily news.

Finding joy and laughter in the bonus round of life

For a group of aging classmates, the daily dynamics of friendship have evolved into something simpler and more precious. The youthful query of what one wants to be when they grow up has been replaced by a simple check-in to see who is still around. 

A prompt reply in a shared group chat at 7:00 in the morning brings a collective sigh of relief, serving as a daily confirmation of having successfully navigated another year.

Ultimately, entering the 9th decade of life should not be viewed as the beginning of the end, but rather as the start of a bonus round. 

The rules for this chapter are beautifully straightforward: avoid people who bring misery, do not postpone holidays, forgive freely, and tell loved ones how much they are cherished. 

By maintaining a healthy lifestyle, laughing loudly, and always having something to look forward to, the journey into the future becomes a shared adventure. 

The book of life is far from finished; the pages may be running fewer and the print may be smaller, but the characters have undoubtedly become far more interesting.

𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗔𝗽𝗽 ↓