Cathay Pilot gets a big cabin for himself

Government officials ordered a Cathay Pacific pilot to move to the Fo Tan quarantine center after he sat near a confirmed coronavirus sufferer on a flight.

He tried to persuade them to let him stay at home, but they were super-strict.

They invited him to step into a special bus - where he found he was the only passenger.

He had more space than anyone in his airline's first-class cabin.

"I was instructed to sit at the back away from the driver and helper who were wearing full gear," he said. "And to protect themselves further, all the bus windows were open. It was a cool ride."

Quarantine isn't fun. But he has the two most important things on the modern version of the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs chart.

A Nespresso machine and wi-fi.

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This week's crashing oil price means the black stuff costs an incredible 78 percent less than it did at its height, said reader Nick Wong.

But shocking Hong Kong petrol companies are pocketing the difference instead of lowering prices.

"Maybe the rioters should petrol-bomb the gas stations as they are affecting the cost of their Molotov cocktails," Nick added.

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Jewelers in Australia and New Zealand are grabbing attention for themselves by selling toilet rolls for thousands of dollars in their local currencies - and attaching a "free" diamond ring.

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Reader Holger Panzer was interested to read about Lee Man-ho, the district councilor who said he would not serve blue camp people in his area.

"So he's promoting a one-party system," Holger joked.

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"Whoever came up with the name of Standard Chartered Bank's new online bank 'Mox' has a sense of humour--or an inability to do a basic internet search," said reader Simon Berry.

In gay culture, the word mox ("man box") is used to refer to male homosexuals.

But mox is also the nuclear fuel that powers rockets - so it could imply that your savings will soar.

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Most banks require tons of paperwork to open an account, but Hong Kong's other virtual bank, ZA, makes it super easy. You take a selfie and beam it to them from your phone.

[Skip the rabbit ears and whiskers, please.]

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Yellow camp protesters were yesterday thrown into jail for up to three years for throwing petrol bombs, vandalizing banks and fighting with police officers.

That was in France, not Hong Kong.

The parallels between the yellow anti-government protesters in France and Hong Kong are astonishing--they even commit the same crimes.

But the international media hates the French ones and is deliriously in love with the Hong Kong ones.

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Reader Noel Rands was not surprised that 118 housing units were built for Hong Kong quarantine needs in just 24 days.

"In 1990 I went out with guests in the Midland Bank junk and we visited a virtually deserted island. A farmer and his wife and a few ducks were left," he said. "In 1998 the island had become Chek Lap Kok international airport, with stunning bridge connections to the mainland, and two underground railway systems. In London, it takes two years to replace two escalators."

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"Daddy, daddy, what happens if I die of coronavirus?"

"Our food bill will halve and we'll turn your room into a home office, son."

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