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Jet Li, the legendary martial arts superstar, recently participated in a mental wellness talk where he vulnerably shed his superstar persona. Speaking as an ordinary father, he openly shared his helplessness in facing a family member's illness and detailed how he accompanied his younger daughter, Jada, through years of severe depression. He candidly admitted that this period taught him to let go of his pride and paternal authority, and to relearn the true meaning of "companionship." Doctors point out that depression affects the brain's communication and regulation of thoughts, feelings, and behavioral circuits, trapping sufferers in a vortex from which it's difficult to escape. Persistent insomnia, fatigue, and loss of interest in activities may signal that someone is caught in depression's grip.
Recalling his daughter Jada's battle with depression, Li admitted to feeling immense self-blame. From the age of seven, Jada intermittently suffered from severe depression. Though she improved for a time, it relapsed when she was 16, leaving her so low that she would retreat to her room immediately after returning from school. At the time, Li was busy helping people outside the home. "I was doing charity work outside but neglecting my family. I felt I couldn't do anything. Finally, there was only one option: just be there for her."
He described feeling utterly helpless during that period. For his daughter's well-being, he stopped all work, set aside his paternal authority, and fully embraced the role of "companion." He even let Jada take the lead: "Wherever you want to go, I'll go with you."
The journey to recovery spanned many years. As they supported each other, their relationship evolved to include roles like teacher-student and classmates. "I couldn't teach her. Whatever she did, I just followed," Li explained. Together, they visited psychiatrists, learned meditation, studied Buddhism, and even spent three years traveling the world, seeking spiritual peace within Buddhist teachings. Deeply moved, Li reflected, "Jada is my best teacher." The superstar, who had been protected and accommodated since childhood, ultimately rediscovered the essence of fatherhood. "The deep-seated egocentrism and arrogance within me were gradually peeled away by my daughter, day by day. Because of her, I discovered I could sit alone at a street-side cafe drinking coffee. She helped me let go of my pride as a father."
Jada herself expressed gratitude to her father: "In these past years, you haven't just been my dad; you've been more like my best friend and teacher." She mentioned that growing up, she watched her parents become increasingly relaxed, yet she struggled with depression and desperately wanted to live happily alongside them. Seeing her father maintain happiness even under pressure taught her the power of "letting go."
Hong Kong psychiatrist Dr. Poon Kam-shan explains that anyone can develop depression. Its underlying causes are complex, encompassing genetic, physiological, psychological, and environmental factors, often resulting from a combination of these elements. Individuals prone to black-and-white thinking, excessive perfectionism, magnifying flaws, negative self-labeling, and habitual negative thought patterns are more susceptible. Furthermore, significant life impacts—such as losing a loved one, relationship difficulties, work or family stress, financial troubles, or health problems—can generate pressure that triggers depression.
How to Spot if a Family Member Has Depression?
Poon notes that depression affects sufferers emotionally, cognitively, and behaviorally. Common symptoms include:
In children and adolescents, low mood may manifest as irritability. Academic or daily functioning may decline, or they may refuse to attend school. Depression can also present as various physical complaints like headaches or stomachaches, separation anxiety, or excessive crying. If a child expresses suicidal thoughts or engages in self-harm behaviors such as cutting, these can also be manifestations of depression.
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