40pc of parents clash with kids at least once a week

Henry Siu

Two out of five parents reported having conflicts with their children at least once a week, according to a survey by the Hong Kong Young Women's Christian Association.

The poll took in 406 parents of children aged six to 12 years old, living in districts that recorded the most child-abuse cases - Yuen Long, Tuen Mun, Sham Shui Po, Yau Tsim Mong and Kwun Tong.

It utilized the Depression Anxiety and Stress Scale 21 questionnaire to assess the negative emotional states of the respondents.

The key findings include:

? More than 90 percent reported having conflicts with their children, mainly due to the use of electronic devices (68.4 percent ) and homework (68.4 percent ). Conflict tend to increase with older children; and

? Ten percent said they have experienced physical conflicts or intense actions like throwing things, which the YWCA described as "alarming" and potentially involving child abuse.

While more than 50 percent believe they can compromise with their children after conflicts, 14.3 percent feel their children are forced to comply and 13.2 percent choose to let go.

More than 80 percent of parents do not feel tensions cease after the end of a conflict and often feel helpless, a sense of grievance and anger rather than that things have been resolved.

Around 60 percent of parents feel mild to severe depression, and more than 70 percent feel mild to severe anxiety, according to the DASS-21 scoring guide.

Social worker, Akina Sze Sin-li, said: "Traditional Chinese emphasis on obedience may contribute to parent-child conflicts."

She recommended parents adopt a more communicative approach rather than being authoritative to avert mutual misunderstanding.

The YWCA has implemented the "YWCA Jockey Club Calm & Caring Family Project" to help families in districts with high child-abuse cases improve their relationships and communication.

A mother, Wong, said she has learned to give her daughter more opportunities to express herself after joining the program.