Customer touched by new massage rule

Massage parlors in Hong Kong reopen today and the new rules have amused some customers.

"For years, the government has legislated against private one-to-one facilities in massage parlors to prevent sexual services being sold," said an occasional user who did not wish to have his name printed.

"But the new 'maximum gatherings of two' rules say each unit must be limited to one customer and one staff member at a time."

He's not complaining.

* * *

The Chinese name is nice enough, but the English name is pretty unattractive.

"I blame Covid," said Scott Smyth, who spotted the misprint.

* * *

It's official: Hong Kong has turned into the Sahara Desert.

We're having the hottest summer ever recorded in this city, weather analysts said this week. The average temperature in Hong Kong in August was 29 degrees Celsius, close to the 30 degrees annual average of the Sahara Desert.

And, yes, swimming pools are still closed.

* * *

In related news, the massive use of air-conditioners means we are all getting huge electricity bills this year.

But we can take comfort that not all the cash goes into Li Ka-shing's pocket.

The government revealed this week that more than 8,600 Hong Kong "greenies" have signed up to generate solar power and sell it to providers like Hong Kong Electric for resale to the rest of us.

* * *

USA: "The Chinese are unable to create original technology."

CHINA: "Here's 5G, drones, Huawei and TikTok."

USA: "Original Chinese technology must be banned immediately."

* * *

Chief Secretary Matthew Cheung Kin-chung tried to keep everyone happy when he spoke by Zoom on Wednesday: "Good evening from Hong Kong and good morning and good afternoon to you all if you are watching this from other time zones."

* * *

Action movie star Donnie Yip must be pleased that the Hong Kong government is showing Ip Man 4 at an Italian film festival this week.

Last year, after the production team said they didn't support violent riots, radical protesters launched a "spoiler attack," flooding the internet with movie spoilers and even designed spoiler posters as placards.

* * *

A prankster put an image of a fake Chinese "food coupon" online and staff at Radio Free Asia yesterday rushed to create TV news clips about nutrition problems in China.

The trick neatly exposed Radio Free Asia for what it is: a US state department unit specializing in finding and disseminating negative news about China.

* * *

Columnist Chip Tsao complained angrily in Apple Daily yesterday that government staff in the UK, his new home country, are often colored people you can't complain about.

"It has nothing to do with racial discrimination because all you are fighting against are low-level civil servants of color who immigrated from the Third World," he said.

"They are just extremely lazy and institutional bureaucrats. You shouldn't yell at them, otherwise, you are the one who commits racial discrimination."

Ouch.

* * *

The sellers of Paul McCartney's former flat on the Thames waterfront in London are hoping to get Hong Kong buyers interested.

In the UK, 1.25 million (HK$12.9 million) for a 1,090 square foot flat apartment sounds expensive, but in Hong Kong, it works out as HK$12,000 per sq ft - same as a carpark space.

Talk to me! Send ideas and comments via the Facebook pages of the author or The Standard