This plague prefers to target extroverts

Covid-19 evolved to attack extroverts, scientists say. They've discovered the factor that links all the epicenters of the virus: loud voices in social settings.

Bars, nightclubs, restaurants, choirs and churches all feature people talking or singing at high volume in the company of others.

I realized the virus greatly preferred extroverts when I asked an introverted relative about how the changes caused by social distancing had affected him.

"What changes?" he asked.

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Old maxim: "Two's company, three's a crowd."

New Hong Kong version: "Two's company, three's an arrestable offense."

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If you ask for Google to recommend things to do in Hong Kong, it highlights "Suicide Cliff" as a "tourist attraction."

I know things are grim, but it's surely not that bad?

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Hong Kong has been turned into a communist gulag, people around the world believe, thanks to the idiotic reporting of China-hating Western journalists.

One UK man told reader Simon Hannaford that he had read that Hong Kong had been "invaded by China."

A Washington DC man named Jim Bush wrote to this columnist to commiserate over "the end of freedom and the full takeover by the communist regime."

Best way to react? Play along.

"It's shocking. Our cruel new masters forced us to swap our Lamborghinis for black bicycles. From next week we have to wear Mao suits, but we can choose between Prada and Armani."

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From today, Hong Kong's new super-strict rules allow you to lower your mask for eating and drinking - but not for smoking.

You literally have to smoke through the mask.

"It adds to the flavor," groaned a smoker friend who tried it and recommended making a small hole.

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I hope weddings are exempt from the "gatherings of two only" rule, or ministers will have to get vows from brides and grooms separately.

"Do you take one of the women who I will be talking to later today to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

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The media "reacted with ridicule and outrage when Hong Kong police took issue with protesters using laser pointers," said reader Andrew Toh.

But now they are being used on white police officers, the threat is being taken seriously.

"Hong Kong's gift to the world," sighed Keith McNab.

Dan Knowles said US protesters had also adopted black umbrellas.

"But I think the use of leaf blowers to dissipate tear gas is strictly American," he added.

"Not many Hongkongers have leaf blowers. And hair dryers don't have the necessary horsepower."

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Hong Kong's deputy leader Matthew Cheung this week said the government didn't want to introduce a stay-home-or-face-arrest policy for one simple reason: lots of people in this city don't cook at all and eat out every day.

He's not wrong.

In a Nielson survey, Hongkongers were the biggest users of restaurants in the world, with 26 percent eating out every day.

I once met a man who never ate a single meal at home.

His kitchen was spotless but his bank account was devastated.

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Western politicians calling for lockdowns to be lifted early for the sake of the economy remind me of a quote from the monarch in the 2001 movie Shrek: "Some of you may die but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make."

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