Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative in children

Staff reporter

Appropriate praise is an affirmation of progress for children and encourages them to engage in more positive behavior, a psychologist said.

In the "Spreading Positivity: Have You Praised Someone Today?" online survey by Sing Tao News Corp, 32 percent of the 8,839 respondents believed that praising children boosts confidence, enhances relationships, increases satisfaction and security, promotes positive thinking and encourages diligence when answering the question of what praising children can bring.

Conversely, 26 percent reported refraining from praising children due to disciplinary concerns, 19 percent worried about excessive praise and 17 percent feared it might foster arrogance.

Paul Kong Ka-wai, a registered clinical psychologist in Hong Kong and the United Kingdom, said the belief that children shouldn't be praised for misbehavior reflects adults' tendency to judge based on mistakes.He said children need time to improve and that concerns about excessive praise and fostering arrogance can hinder healthy parent-child relationships.

While praise can encourage children to act more positively, Kong said it should be "selective."

He advised parents to avoid frequently using generic praise like "You are so smart!" Instead, they should affirm specific performances or behaviors to make the praise more effective.

Shirley Cheng Ka-po, vice chairwoman of Education Convergence and principal of the Church of Christ in China Mong Wong Far Yok Memorial Primary School, has been actively promoting a culture of praise in schools in recent years.

Cheng said that early in her career, she took a "discipline first, teach later" approach.

However, after observing a positive atmosphere in a neighboring class, she realized the importance of praising students. As principal, she revamped her methods by replacing point deductions with bonus points and emphasizing positive language, which significantly enhanced teaching effectiveness.