Truth is, we're all in quarantine now

The Easter holidays are coming up and Hong Kong's 7.5 million people are considering our options.

We can to Macau, Macau or Macau.

The little ex-Portuguese enclave is now the ONLY place in the whole world we are allowed to visit without being quarantined.

We're trapped in Hong Kong. Seriously.

One man found the Macau option to be a problem. "The Macau Ferry Terminal in Sheung Wan has been shut down," his wife told me. "But my husband has spent months complaining that the Macau Zhuhai bridge was a terrible idea, so I can't bring myself to ask him to use that."

I told them to swim.

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From Pete Gable: "New IQ test is out. Start with 150 and deduct the number of toilet rolls you have."

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The Hong Kong government yesterday announced a "zero tolerance" approach to people who break quarantine, pledging to send them to court to face up to six months in jail.

On the exact same day, the courts announced that they had decided to close most activities and send staff home for two weeks. Oops.

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Your narrator went to North Point post office on Saturday morning to send boxes of surgical masks to the west--and found a huge queue of Hongkongers doing the same.

Ours were going to the UK, the people in front were sending theirs to Italy, and the folk behind were posting theirs to the United States.

Astonishingly, it was only three weeks ago that people in Europe and the United States were posting masks to us.

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The sign in the picture was spotted on a UK beach. Hope the local criminals have good time-keeping habits.

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A viral video clip shows a US politician named Katie Porter relentlessly [and successfully] badgering a government medical official to make coronavirus testing free.

Did you wonder where she learned such determined patience? Or recognize her?

Katie Porter used to live in Hong Kong, where she was a teacher-intern working with eighth graders at Hong Kong International School.

After you've learned how to get kids aged 13 and 14 to do what you want, the US government is easy.

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Yuen Long residents breathed a sigh of relief at the weekend. For the first time in half a year, their MTR station wasn't shut down by radical protesters on the 21st day of the month.

At 7pm on Saturday, a crowd of about 110 radicals dressed like over-aged emos gathered, chanting "Hong Kong Independence is the only way out."

They blocked roads and lit fires in Yau San Street and Tai Tong Road but MTR staff and police managed to keep the station functioning.

I imagine the verbal exchanges must have gone something like this.

[Arsonist about to throw home made petrol bomb at police officer]:

Police officer: "Stop."

Arsonist: "What?"

Police officer: "Did you wash your hands?"

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North Korea fired two missiles at the weekend, both of which landed in the sea. Commentators said they couldn't say who they were aimed it. My theory is that North Korean leader Kim Jung-un totally hates the sea.

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Quarantine Day 1: "I have bought an enormous amount of food and drink and am totally ready for 14 days."

Quarantine Day 2: "I need to go shopping."

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