Ask an adult what matters most, and they may say health, wealth, or some tangible success. Ask a teenager, and the answer is often simpler: friends. In my clinical work with children and adolescents, young people rarely begin by talking about academic achievements. They often talk about friendships, rejection, loneliness and where they fit in. Social life is not the garnish on a teenager's day – It is the main course. When it turns sour, everything else can too.
Loneliness looks nothing like an empty playground in the digital age. A teenager can sit in a full classroom and chat in multiple group threads, yet still feels completely unseen or unheard. Many teenagers come to judge their self-worth by the number of likes, comments or followers they receive online. Loneliness is not about being alone; it is about feeling unknown – and it can weigh heavily on a young person's mental wellbeing.
Meanwhile, bullying no longer ends at the school gate. It follows teenagers home in their pockets: a cruel comment, a group chat they were quietly removed from, or a social media feed filled with peers who seem happier, more successful and more popular. In the past, a teenager who was excluded from a gathering might never have known about it. Today, they may spend an evening scrolling through photos and videos of classmates enjoying an event they were not invited to. The exclusion is no longer private; it is visible, shareable and difficult to escape.
Research suggests that heavy social media use may negatively affect adolescents' mental health. In Hong Kong, nearly one in six young people aged 15 to 24 experience mental health difficulties, and problems involving friendships, bullying and social exclusion frequently emerge during clinical consultations. These experiences may contribute to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and school avoidance.
What helps? Adults who notice these struggles early. A parent who shows as much interest in their teenager's friendships as in their grades. A teacher who spots the student eating alone. When teenagers talk about social difficulties, listening without judgement is often more helpful than rushing to provide solutions. Watch for social withdrawal, dread of school, or a phone that brings more fear than enjoyment.
No teenager should have to earn their sense of belonging. Sometimes the most important intervention is also the simplest: making sure every young person knows they are seen, heard and valued by someone.
Dr Eugene Yeung Yu-hang, Specialist in Psychiatry
