Give yourself permission to do nothing on vacation

Kathleen Wong

samantha hamilton was more than ready for her two-week solo trip to Thailand. She had packed her schedule to the brim to fit in everything she wanted to do: have an ethical elephant encounter, visit a Buddhist temple and snorkel its clear waters.

Partway into her trip, she realized she wasn't enjoying her itinerary and was operating on autopilot. She felt "completely drained, mentally and physically." That day, she had plans to go on a hike and snorkel, but felt like she wouldn't even enjoy those activities because of how tired she was.

So she took the day off and did absolutely nothing except catch up on sleep in her hotel room.

Looking back, she said that day off "saved" her trip. "I know it sounds silly, but that one day of rest completely recharged my batteries," she said.

It can feel strange to take a vacation from your vacation like this, and Hamilton admitted she sometimes feels "a pang of guilt" when she does spend a day not leaving her hotel. "I think there's so much pressure to see and do everything while traveling that it's lost on a lot of people that we also need time to rest. That's what a vacation is for, right?"

The case for taking a rest day during your vacation can seem counterintuitive, but it may actually help your vacation - and mental health - in the long run, according to psychotherapist Ellie Borden.

"It is crucial to remember the purpose of a vacation. Most of us live busy lives with little downtime," she said.

Vacations are the perfect opportunity to be fully present and engage in self-care, Borden said, which can leave you feeling recharged for when you return to everyday life. That may mean going off on some adventures but also taking the day off to bask in total leisure, like ordering room service or napping.

The cost of a trip can place pressure to make the most of it As Hamilton experienced, it's easier said than done to sit back and relax.

For many, vacation is precious and literally sitting a day out can feel like a waste. About two out of three respondent said they feel "too much pressure during their vacation to actually enjoy it," according to a survey by Club Wyndham.

Faith Hansen and her family used to feel this way on their vacations. "As budget family travelers, we are always conscious of the cost of a trip," she said. "And with that can come the dreaded mentality to 'get the most out of every single day of travel.'"

On a trip to Copenhagen with her 11-year-old in tow, the family felt obligated to go on a canal cruise since everyone said it was a must-do and it was included in a city pass they already bought. So the family dragged themselves and their tired child onto the boat for what ended up being "a wonderfully awful afternoon."

Now the family allows themselves to say no to "amazing" activities on vacation if they feel like they are forcing themselves to go.

People should redefine vacation not just to include exploring the destination but having "down time" too, according to psychologist Anita Astley.

"Time is your most important commodity, so spend it wisely," she said. "Downtime is an integral part of any vacation."

Give yourself permission to not be active. "Remind yourself why you're there in the first place; to get some much-needed rest from your day-to-day grind."

Kathleen Porter Kristiansen said she used to "fight my own guilt of watching my kids do something in an incredible location that they could do at home," such as watching television in the room, but "the pandemic taught me to slow it down a bit."

Can you get fatigued during vacation?

"As enjoyable as it may be to explore your surroundings while on vacation, even fun activities can eventually tire you," Borden said. "If you don't take the time to properly relax when on vacation, and come back home feeling as if your vacation was somehow unsatisfying, despite having participated in all the activities you thought would leave you feeling as if your vacation was a lot of fun, that is when you should feel like you've just wasted your vacation time - not to mention your money."

How to work rest days into your vacation:

Constantly being on the go can impede on your ability to enjoy your vacation. Start your trip off by sleeping as much as you need. "You will know when you have caught up on your sleep when you begin to feel restless, and that is the time to start going out and having a good time," said Borden.

Strike balance on your trip by planning down time for every activity you plan. "For example, if you spend one day visiting sights, take the next day to relax by the pool," said Astley.

If it's a group trip you're going on, Astley recommended having a conversation with your travel companions to share your needs and set expectations around vacation time.

If you struggle to "enjoy doing 'nothing,'" Astley said a good starting place is reading a book or journaling during your rest day. "It's not too often that in our busy lives we get to take advantage of some 'me' time; something we all need to calibrate ourselves," she said.

usa today