Confined citizens quaking with laughter

Central Station | Nury Vittachi 21 Feb 2020

An "Important Medical Question" was asked on the internet by a citizen in Sichuan after the recent earthquake there: "When an earthquake strikes, which do I put on first? My pants or my mask?"

Another medical question from Sichuan: "The earthquake hit and I ran outside and saw people standing there without masks. Should I run back in?"

The virus scare has revealed a sharp sense of humor among Chinese citizens, I heard from a Hong Kong reader who works in the mainland.

Mainlanders are humans too. Some Hongkongers need to know this.

* * *

Meanwhile in cyberspace, someone started a petition to rename Covid-19 as "Kung Flu" and it received 25,000 signatures at last viewing.

* * *

KFC and Pizza Hut in the mainland [but not in Hong Kong] have added "contactless delivery" to their online ordering service.

The motorbike guy puts your food on top of his bike storage box and then backs off.

The customer can retrieve the food without going near the driver.

This would be brilliant for a motorbike thief. "Thanks for coming, delivery bike man. Now just walk away. A bit more. Another 20 meters should do it. Keep going."

* * *

A cafe near the famous Trevi Fountain in Rome put up a notice in the window saying, "All people coming from China are not allowed access in this place," the ANSA news agency reported. Europeans are funny. I bet the ban wouldn't apply to Muslims from Xinjiang.

* * *

My wife left her phone in a taxi and we used the Find My Phone function on my phone to follow the little dot moving across Kowloon and eventually we got hers back. In related news, I'd just like to tell Hollywood I'm now ready to star in a Mission Impossible movie.

* * *

The Hong Kong government took out advertisements in newspapers yesterday that urged members of the public to "avoid shaking hands with others." They also sent out a press release in which an official "urged members of the public to join hands with the government." Riiiight.

* * *

Reader Scott Smyth saw the pictured poster in a shopping mall this week. "Um, that's a pig," he said.

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The US Republican Party on Wednesday said all Chinese journalists in the US would be legally reclassified as diplomats, because their reports have a political spin rather than being honest and straightforward.

This is the same US Republican Party that is led by a man who described his own country's journalists thus: "The Press has never been more dishonest than it is today. Stories are written that have absolutely no basis in fact. The writers don't even call asking for verification. They are totally out of control."

* * *

The recent strike by a Hong Kong union of anti-government activists working in hospitals was likely illegal, a lawyer told me yesterday. The law only allows workers to organize a work stoppage in relation to their own jobs. Taking industrial action to complain about government's border policy is a stretch. And ending their meetings with chants of "five demands, not one less" gave the game away.

* * *

I just spent half an hour purchasing organic dog treats for HK$398. Is it any wonder that the only restaurant I can afford to take my kids to is McDonald's?

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