That suspicion was a part of the tale of sex, lies, love and betrayal woven at the Kissel murder trial in the deposition of Bryna O'Shea, Nancy Kissel's best friend and Robert Kissel's ''confidante.''

O'Shea, who did not appear in court, described in detail how what she thought was the ''best marriage in the universe'' was really a facade to hide the stress and disorientation of life in Hong Kong, the increasing tension in the home and Robert Kissel's eventual suspicion that his wife was plotting to kill him.

''Do you think she [Nancy Kissel] is trying to kill me?'' he asked O'Shea in an e-mail after finding suspicious information on his wife's computer.

Even after the alleged murder took place, November 2, 2003, O'Shea was at the center of the turmoil and mayhem that destroyed the family. Nancy Kissel called O'Shea in New York and left the following message on her answering machine: ''We had a fight, he chased me around the room, he wanted to have sex, he beat me up.''

O'Shea was not convinced by the recording, however. ''It sounded made up,'' she said in her deposition.

O'Shea first met Nancy Kissel in 1987 while working in New York City and they became best friends, treating each other like sisters. But by 2002, Nancy Kissel had become ''distant,'' according to O'Shea, and in April 2003, Robert Kissel had begun confiding in O'Shea about his marital problems.

The court heard Friday that he believed Nancy Kissel, who is accused of the murder, was giving mixed signals about her hopes for their marriage.

But at the same time, O'Shea felt Nancy Kissel was going through a stressful period, especially during the SARS epidemic when she left for the United States and was not sure if she would return to Hong Kong.

But it was only when Robert Kissel began phoning and e-mailing her in April 2003 that O'Shea got a clearer picture of their marital problems.

Between April and July 2003, she learnt Robert Kissel had been upset that his wife ignored his 40th birthday. When she asked Nancy Kissel about her husband, she would reply ``don't even ask,'' said O'Shea.

She learnt that the couple were no longer having sex, ``but she had always told me they had a wonderful sex life,'' and that was also obvious ``by the way she talked'' about it. When Robert Kissel found out about Michael Del Priore, Nancy's alleged lover, taking his daughter to play with the Kissel children in their Vermont residence while he was in Hong Kong, he phoned O'Shea to say, ``that shouldn't be Mike there with my children, that should be me.''

But on the day Nancy Kissel returned, July 30, 2003, Robert Kissel felt there was hope again for their marriage.

He wrote to O'Shea, saying he had taken time off to spend the whole day with her. After overcoming the initial awkwardness at the airport, she grew warmer, holding his hand.

``We talked about `us,' she said she was very confused - she cried,'' he wrote to O'Shea.

In August 2003, O'Shea wrote to Nancy Kissel to speak frankly about her observations: ``We haven't really been best friends for a while. I love you, I am here for you if you feel the need. I just felt I need to say something.''

On August 17, Nancy Kissel replied: ``You're always right and so f------ perceptive,'' said Nancy. She wrote about the stress of married life with young children, ``especially when everyone around me thinks it's the best marriage in the universe. Robert's continued success has taken its toll.''

``It was the most I had gotten from her as a response,'' said O'Shea.

But soon after, the mood was reversed after Nancy Kissel found out O'Shea had grown close to her husband. ``She felt betrayed,'' said O'Shea. She felt Robert Kissel had stolen the one thing she had. O'Shea wrote to Nancy Kissel, saying she was just concerned for her and that about ``being Rob's cheerleader - you got it wrong.''

``Make sure your home is warm and cozy this winter,'' wrote O'Shea.

On September 25, Robert Kissel wrote to O'Shea in good spirits and optimistic about the marriage.

He later explained to O'Shea in a phone call that, at first, Nancy Kissel had said during a counseling session, ``I want a divorce.'' But she went to his office the next day, which she hadn't done for years, swept his desk so she could sit on it and said, ``I'm really sorry, I didn't mean what I said in therapy. I don't want a divorce. I really love you.''

In October, when Robert Kissel found his wife's mobile-phone bills, he was distraught because he thought she had given up contact with the lover, Del Priore. ``He felt she was constantly lying to him,'' O'Shea said. It was after this that he began initiating draft divorce papers, thought O'Shea.

Robert Kissel had told O'Shea that he planned to discuss divorce Sunday night, November 2, 2003.

On November 1, he wrote to O'Shea just to say ``boohoo'' because of Halloween and ``kisses and hugs.'' It was just a ``signing-off'' e-mail because he wasn't planning to speak to her again until after the weekend and after the divorce talk, said O'Shea.

``That was the last time I had any communication with him.''

Looking back, O'Shea said, ``I thought they were the happiest couple.''

Nancy Kissel, 41, is accused of serving her husband a milkshake laced with sedatives and beating him to death while he lay unconscious on November 2, 2003. She denies the charge and is out on bail. The trial is being heard before Justice Michael Lunn.

albert.wong@singtaonewscorp.com