Congrats, David, now open your mouth

Central Station | 20 May 2020

Hong Kong pilot David Newbery has just reached the age of 65. He just made his final trip for Cathay Pacific and worked out that he had flown a total of one million people across the sky.

"My last flight was Heathrow to Hong Kong in an Airbus A350-1000 with no passengers or cabin crew, so I missed out on the traditional glass of champagne at the end of the flight," he said. "I had a deep throat Covid-19 test instead."

Life in 2020.

* * *

Last Saturday, a group of 19 protesters was approached by police officers who told them that their gathering violated social distancing rules, I heard from Mark Steven Yong.

Protesters refused to disperse, so police arrested them all.

This happened in London and journalists reported it with sympathy for the police.

When the exact same thing happens in Hong Kong: "Evil Vicious Brutal Police In Shocking New Outrage."

* * *

Does a cappuccino or a double espresso lift your spirits?

Mark Desmond Hughes was puzzled to see a coffee shop in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, called Depresso.

"It made me sad," he said.

* * *

Online discussions show that Hong Kong's increasingly violent opposition politicians are looking to Taiwan for ideas - and finding them.

2004: Taiwanese politicians threw lunchboxes across the chamber, splattering food.

2006: A politician grabbed a key document and tried to eat it.

2013: Politicians jumped on their opponents and bit them.

Yet another plus to Hong Kong's addiction to surgical masks: opposition politicians can't eat legal documents or sink their teeth into a civil servant's legs.

* * *

Readers yesterday shared a 2018 article from Taiwan's Liberty Times, reporting that a Hong Kong tourist swore at a police traffic officer in Cantonese, expecting him to not understand.

But the Taiwanese officer knew exactly what had been said, and handcuffed the Hongkonger. He was jailed for the serious crime of "insulting a civil servant."

"Hong Kong needs this law badly," said Freeman Tang.

* * *

Think you have a headache organizing a Zoom conference with your child's teacher?

The organizers of Citibank's talking shop series yesterday launched its Pan-Asia Regional Investor Conference, with 1,600 people to participate over the course of three days.

But a peek at the organizers' forward schedule contains good news. All events are virtual until August - and then conferences are expected to be face-to-face gatherings.

* * *

One reader was intrigued by stories that Ocean Park's financial problems may lead to wildlife needing to be rehoused.

"People calling for the closure Ocean Park should take responsibility for the theme park's anacondas, alligators, tarantulas and sharks," she said. "I hope Claudia Mo and Michael Tien have spare rooms."

* * *

The claims from some politicians that Hong Kong's legal sector is corruptly engaging in "political prosecutions" upset a reader who did not wish his name to be printed.

"We're seeing a string of cases in which the rioters and vandals agreed with the prosecutors on the details of what happened and pleaded guilty," he pointed out. "Think about it."

* * *

Gomez Addams was puzzled as to why black-clad protesters attacked a shop last week simply because its owner came from mainland China.

"Will these vandals also attack their parents, grandparents and so on, who all ultimately came from China?" he asked. "The failure of logic is deep with this crowd."

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