Tiny house's curious high security gate

Central Station | Nury Vittachi 3 Jun 2019

Hong Kong is surreal, says reader Dennis Hodgson - and took this picture from the banks of the Ng Tung River in the New Territories to prove it. It shows the tiniest house imaginable: one small room on top of another. And half the lower room must be a staircase.

The path to it is blocked by a security gate. "It's a sturdy gate, well able to keep out intruders," said Dennis. "Or it would be if it wasn't possible to simply walk around it!"

* * *

So, Uncle Four (billionaire Lee Shau-kee) has retired. Thank God. I know too many people who followed his property investment "tips".

My tip: Never take gambling advice from a man who can literally lose HK$100 million without noticing.

* * *

Exciting news from the art world. "Bad Bodies" at the Tomorrow Maybe gallery in Kowloon is "a group show that seeks to reclaim the word 'bad' from the way it has been applied to queer bodies."

The artists want to redefine the word "bad" to "echo the way 'gay' and 'queer' were reclaimed by members of the community from a hetero-patriarchal context."

Hey guys, if you want to claim the word "bad", honestly, just go for it: it's all yours.

* * *

The silent majority might actually exist. From Brexit and Trump to the recent Australian election, there have been a spate of incidents in which the media confidently predict a sure election win for the left - and the right comes out on top.

Hong Kong Republicans have invited British and Australian counterparts to meet at the Mr Wolf bar in Central on June 18 for communal gloating.

* * *

The Tesla car company made an announcement in Hong Kong on Friday: "We do not want to alarm anyone, but Model 3 is now available to order."

They don't want to "alarm" people? Is this a reference to the bursting-into-flames thing?

* * *

At the weekend the Hong Kong government said it is "culling another 4,700 pigs" because "culling" sounds less horrible than "killing".

It's true. Someone played Achy Breaky Heart at a party and I shouted "Cull me now!" and it did feel less insulting to the country music fan.

* * *

Reader Simon Griffin showed me an official Singapore government video marking the city-state's 50 years of independence. "From a fishing village and trading port we charted a course to become a global hub port and international maritime center," it said.

It's astonishing how the British have been totally erased from east Asian history.

(For younger readers: Singapore was not founded by its present rulers 50 years ago, but by the British 200 years ago.)

* * *

A World Heart and Brain Conference will be held in Hong Kong in November, it was revealed this weekend. Maybe they'll solve the age-old mystery of whether one should follow one's heart or one's head?

My father used to say: "If you're not a communist when you're 20, you don't have a heart. If you're still a communist when you're 40, you don't have a head."

* * *

Given the popularity of the new Aladdin movie in Hong Kong, an unmarried friend of mine wants to try out a new pick-up line: "Ding! Here I am. Now, what are your other two wishes?"

Be kind, ladies.

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