I'm hoping helper movie tells the truth

Central Station | Nury Vittachi 14 Mar 2019

Coming to the big screen soon - it's "Hong Kong Domestic Helper: The Movie."

No joke. Big bucks have been set aside by the Filipino film industry to make a movie about the life of an "overseas Filipino worker" in Hong Kong, movie sources revealed yesterday.

The movie, title unknown, will be filmed on location here starting next month.

Actually, this could be good if they resist the temptation to churn out the usual weepy romance and instead do a comedy in which cool, clever domestic helpers outwit their slow-witted thuggish employers.

Yes, I do have certain neighbors in mind.

* * *

As this writer told an audience at Kerry Hotel the other day, domestic helpers should be called "expatriate staff" out of respect and Western stockbrokers should be called "migrant workers" for the sake of balance, right?

* * *

When I was a kid, my mother used to say: "Pick your clothes off the floor, I'm not your maid." When I got to college, the dormitory cleaning maid used to say: "Pick your clothes off the floor, I'm not your mother." Being a slob is not easy.

* * *

Gay icons from Thailand are heading to Hong Kong next month, it was revealed yesterday. When Singto and Krist tried to appear at a show in Kuala Lumpur, the authorities were so shocked they canceled the event.

But these delicate, effeminate young men should fit fine into Hong Kong, with its K-pop obsession.

We few remaining "real men" can pass the time doing our usual stuff, eating nails, headbutting trucks, gnawing our limbs off, etc.

* * *

The Hong Kong government is guaranteeing places for women in a competition for the title of Fullest Pockets of Lucky Buns, a spokesman said yesterday.

For decades, men have dominated the uniquely Hong Kong sport of Bun Tower Climbing. But these days, there will be places in every round, including the finals on May 13, reserved for women.

A drawing competition will also be organized so children can sketch the male and female participants and their lucky buns.

I don't make this stuff up, you know.

* * *

For three days during the bun festival, the Cheung Chau branch of McDonald's will follow local custom by becoming totally free of meat, eggs, or dairy products.

I predict they will sell a lot of French fries during that period.

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Reader Scott Smyth spotted this sign in a shop in the United States. The English version is hardly less appetizing than the Chinese name, which translates as "swimming swamp eel".

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New York chef Dominique Ansel, inventor of a super-calorific pastry called the Cronut, revealed yesterday that his next big restaurant will be in Hong Kong. In other news, the share prices of local defibrillator manufacturers are expected to rise.

* * *

When an online game player complained that the romantic plot line in a Chinese video game called Tiny Snow was unconvincing, the game developer responded with a bit more information than one might expect.

"The plot is not convincing because I never experienced love," said the designer, who signed his name "Rice".


News website NextShark reported that Rice added another comment: "However, I'm really good at writing stories about being rejected and being dumped."

Double awwww.

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