My dream: a place at Moron University

Central Station | Nury Vittachi 22 Nov 2018

Users of Reddit, a rowdy international website, were shocked yesterday when someone posted a list of Hong Kong football teams with names such as White Youth and French Kiss.

Before anyone complains, White Youth isn't racist and has Asian members.

But still, Hongkongers probably wouldn't want to wear White Youth T-shirts when visiting Western countries, where almost everyone seems to have a desperate need to feel mortally offended all the time.

At least our club names are not as awkward as Deportivo Moron of Argentina. The team comes from the district that houses the memorably named Moron University, an actual real university. I'd study at Moron University just for the certificate.

* * *

Hong Kong supermarket shelves were cleared of Greenfields milk yesterday.

An anonymous tipster told authorities that the milk is falsely labeled as coming from an Australian-run factory in Indonesia. Officials checked and found that the facility had stopped making milk in March 2017.

Overpriced Hong Kong milk is so wildly profitable that rivals are now making trouble for each other.

Yes! Bring on the milk wars!

* * *

A government publication called Notice to Airmen said yesterday that balloons, kites and drones were banned from the Tsim Sha Tsui ferry pier for four days. Surely many if not most individuals who play with balloons are little girls? And might they not be subscribers to Notice to Airmen? Just a thought.

* * *

On names with a message, Darren Lee wrote that he used to know a Wong Sum-ting, which to English-speakers became Sumting Wong, sounding like "something wrong".

Alan Cooper reminded me of a gentleman in the watch industry called Handsome Man. He definitely chose that one for himself!

Reminds me of a concierge who used to work at the Hyatt in Taipei. His name was Handsome Tung.

Not just a pretty face! Ba-dum, tush! Sorry, couldn't resist.

* * *

John Campbell snapped this image of Aggressive Construction, a Tai Po company. Reader Gilbert Wing said there were several similar firms, including Aggressive Engineering and Aggressive Electronics.

Aggressive means "tending towards violence". Coming soon: Aggressive Baby Minders.

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Reader Joyce Swaine noted the 182MUCH ("I ate too much") number plate in yesterday's column and said: "Last week in North Point I saw 1 AM FAT on a number plate. Maybe related?"

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A colleague's friend snapped this picture yesterday. Could it be the car of Alibaba boss Jack Ma, whose Chinese name is Ma Yun? One of Alibaba's biggest sales days of the year is November 11, known as Singles Day. If MY 1111 isn't his car, someone should buy it for him.

* * *

Following Graham Ford's comment yesterday that West Kowloon Station is east of Kowloon Station, reader Adrian Chan pointed out that Tung Chung ("River in the east") is in Hong Kong's west and Sai Kung ("Tribute in the west") is in Hong Kong's east.

To add to the confusion I was dismayed to hear that Japan has a town called China.

So the next time you tell people you're from Hong Kong and they ask whether you speak Japanese, you can give this answer.

"No. I speak Chinese, but people from China in Japan speak Japanese."

Talk to me: send ideas and comments to the Facebook pages of this author or The Standard.

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