Actually, July 2047 could be a lot of fun

Central Station | Nury Vittachi 5 Aug 2019

Hot news: a hugely important "joining together" event will take place right here on July 1, 2047.

No, I'm not talking about politics.

I'm talking about lurrvve.

On that day, the borders will disappear between a community shockingly oversupplied with women (Hong Kong) and one which is shockingly oversupplied with men (the mainland).

Statisticians say the female-to-male sex imbalance in Hong Kong will be 60:40 by the 2040s, meaning that there will be more than a million women in this city who can't have a male partner.

And the mainland, of course, has the exact opposite problem.

Open the gates and stand well back!

* * *

This writer received the story above from a Hong Kong statistics-watcher while I was on holiday.

On my flight back to Hong Kong, the pilot said: "We are cruising at 39,000 feet and the temperature outside is minus 10."

Why do they always say that? Do they think we might want to go for a walk?

* * *

On July 26, I landed in Hong Kong - and protesters filled the airport arrival hall. On July 28, I tried to clear my jetlag by walking to Causeway Bay: protesters blocked that district. On Saturday I spoke at a conference in Mong Kok: protesters threw petrol bombs in that area. I'm beginning to think I'm the problem. (I'm having lunch at the Yacht Club today. Stay clear.)

* * *

At one protest, a group of marchers posed in front of me. "Take pictures and share with the world," said a young female with a sinophobic placard. Granny Wong (the old lady who always carries a giant British union flag) posed with her.

"Sure," I said.

I was still videoing when protesters started spray-painting graffiti (see picture) and stealing public safety railings to turn into barricades and weapons.

"Not allowed to film," a large male shouted. I was quickly surrounded by black-clad men who forced me to delete the videos on my phone.

The incident was funny, but also scary.

As soon as they left, I turned my phone back on, clicked "Recently Deleted" and "Recover".

You can't censor the press!

* * *

I shared the above anecdote on the internet, and protesters were soon sending me death threats and sharing details of where to find me.

Fame at last!

* * *

Protesters broke all the traffic lights in the Yau Ma Tei area of Nathan Road - but left the pedestrian crossing lights working. The green "walking man" symbols were yesterday sending men, women and children out onto the roads in front of speeding taxis, trucks and buses. Not nice.

* * *

I think the protesters should write a book: "How to Start With Huge Amounts of Goodwill and Lose The Lot At Astonishing Speed."

* * *

In other news, reader Joe Rystrom from Kam Tim told me on Saturday he met a man named "Stranger." He met him every day on a train and they became friends. "But I still had to use the greeting 'Hello, Stranger!'" he said.

* * *

That reminded me that there are hundreds of people named Einstein. Pretty much everything you say to them sounds like you're making a sarcastic attack on them. "So you took the bus, Einstein?" "You think that's a good place to eat, Einstein?" "You know how much that costs, Einstein?"

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