Batcave plan needs superhero magic

Central Station | Nury Vittachi 17 May 2019

Hong Kong engineers are drafting plans to build massive "Batcaves" under Tsim Sha Tsui, Causeway Bay, Wan Chai and Happy Valley.

Giant hidden rock caverns will be used to house facilities that are large but don't need natural light, leaving more above-ground space free for people, they revealed this week.

Government engineers have done it before, moving a sewage facility to a hidden cave in the Stanley area.

It sounds like a massive job, but let's not forget that Bruce Wayne and his butler Alfred managed to build the entire secret Batcave by themselves.

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In Macau, all the taxis seem to have plastic film on their seats. Is this because there are a lot of gory mob murders in the backs of cabs there? Just asking.

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Hong Kong drug detector dogs have been on training courses to give discreet, passive-aggressive responses when they find smugglers, customs officers revealed this week.

Instead of barking and jumping around, the 68 dogs have been trained to sit quietly near the suspected smuggler.

Next time you're walking through Hong Kong airport and a guard dog gives you a creepy smile, be afraid. Be very afraid.

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If the Hong Kong film industry needs ideas so it can challenge the stranglehold that Marvel superheroes have on the movie sector, just look on the wall (see picture) for inspiration.

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Fears of a property crash led to a buyer walking away from his deposit of HK$7.55 million on a luxury flat, this newspaper reported yesterday. At the same time, a similar apartment sold for an even higher price than the abandoned one. So if someone asks you whether Hong Kong property is crashing or booming, the answer is yes.

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One of the applicants for the Hong Kong government's HK$4,000 handout for low-income people is Tang Lung-wai, it was revealed this week. Tang counts as a-low income person because he is in jail as a drug smuggler. This is probably not what the government had in mind.

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Hong Kong is now 78 percent green, planning officials revealed on Wednesday.

The media always says Copenhagen is the world's greenest city, but I suspect we are ahead of the Danes.

Hong Kong's high score is the result of government agencies planting more than five million shrubs and trees a year for the past five years.

Maybe murderers from the mainland can hide from the new extradition law in all the new greenery.

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We're not quite at Venezuela standards, but Hong Kong supermarket meat shelves were looking noticeably empty yesterday, thanks to the swine flu scare that's caused all the pork to be removed and the beef to sell out.

On the plus side, scientists say that if people eat less meat, for any reason, they'll live longer.

This should be interesting, since Hongkongers already live longer than anyone else on the planet.

We're basically going to be immortals. Everybody sing: "I'm gonna live for ever. I'm gonna learn how to fly."

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One of my friends is a true Hong Kong parent. "Someday this will all be yours," he said to his child, sweeping his hand over his McDonald's Happy Meal toy collection.

Only in Hong Kong.

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