Look: Chinese leaders everywhere!

Central Station | Nury Vittachi 12 Mar 2019

Chinese men could be running the whole planet as early as next year. An ethnic Chinese US citizen, Andrew Yang, has just declared his intention to oust Donald Trump as US president and leader of the Western world.

Would Chinese folk dominating east and west be good for The Future of Humanity?

This was much discussed in coffee shops of Central yesterday. I counted five comments worth noting.

1) Mainland Chinese people will be forced to do some self-examination: "How come foreigners can elect a Chinese leader, but Chinese people can't?"

2) The US far right would declare a US Chinese president to be a Manchurian candidate (double agent) and go hide in bunkers with tins of beans.

3) The internet would collapse under the weight of Chairman Yang jokes.

4) East-west relations could worsen, since Andrew Yang would have to get himself declared enemy of China to get US voters on his side.

5) And me? I voted in favor, because I'm only interested in funny lines and want to use this headline: "Our Chinese president is better than your Chinese president."

* * *

The Oldish restaurant (that's its name, not a description) in Sheung Wan is applying for a liquor license today. Diners will be able to have a beer with the delicious but stale-sounding dessert the eatery serves: "Oldish Tiramisu".

* * *

Several celebrities were in Hong Kong over the past few days for the third annual electric car race in Central.

Liam Payne of the boy band One Direction turned up. In recent months celeb watchers say he's been flirting with other celebs, most notably Naomi Campbell. This caused eyebrows to rise, since he is 25 and she is 48.

Well, here's the twist. One of the other celebs to turn up at the same party Hong Kong was Naomi Campbell.

Of course it might be a coincidence. There are only 7.7 billion people on earth, after all.

* * *

Hong Kong's Dear Leader Carrie Lam made a joke at the electric car race, which is designed to promote electric vehicles: "It's an electrifying event." Nobody actually laughed, but it's good news that she's trying, right?

Much funnier was the fact that many people were too embarrassed to try pronouncing the name of the race: E-Prix.

* * *

Reader Fazal Careem sent me this photo of a "Room to Rant". Perhaps we can reserve it for members of the Hong Kong Independence Party?

* * *

My friend Sarah Morrison, whose birthday coincided with International Women's Day, urged her friends to mark the day by sending her a note such as: "Happy Birthday, Sarah. I couldn't decide what to get you so I crushed the Patriarchy instead."

* * *

Would you like to be able to fly? Or see through walls? In the nerdy, male, superhero-loving atmosphere of Reddit, someone posted a question: "What is a superpower that sounds cool but would realistically be terrible?"

A response came quickly: "China."

* * *

Greta Thunberg, the 16-year-old Swedish climate activist, recorded a short video clip on a phone urging Hong Kong children to skip school to protest on Friday. Also yesterday, Hong Kong weather experts said there was a more-than-50 percent chance of rain between 11am and 2pm, the exact time and date of the march. The increasingly wild climate might not want to be tamed, it seems.

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