Big Mac fiend is dangerous to himself

Central Station | Nury Vittachi 28 Feb 2019

A Hong Kong independence campaigner was tracked by a pro-Beijing news reporter who recorded his every movement, Canada's Globe and Mail newspaper reported yesterday.

The record was then published and showed how the independence activist spent his night.

6pm: Separatist attends Hong Kong independence rally.

8pm: Separatist has dinner at McDonald's.

10.20 pm: Separatist goes to a bar.

1am: Separatist goes to McDonald's for supper, then returns to bar, where female friend vomits.

4am: Separatist goes to McDonald's for breakfast.

This is not a joke. The guy had THREE MEALS at McDonald's in eight hours.

He must be stopped for his own sake.

* * *

What a shame that Western journalists are obsessed with giving high profile public platforms to any idiot who claims he can persuade Xi Jinping to grant independence to Hong Kong.

The inevitable friction is great for Western journalists' careers, but terrible for Hong Kong and its residents.

A free press is a good thing but where's the responsibility?

* * *

Western liberal democracy is the system that creates societies with the healthiest people living the longest lives, the New York Times said on its front page this week.

It was a very nice article-except for being wrong.

Hong Kong has the world's healthiest people living the longest lives.

The stats are not in dispute.

And Hong Kong was not a Western liberal democracy last time I checked.

The bigger question is: Is there anything that can be done about the international media's woeful coverage of our home?

* * *

BTS, the world's top K-pop boy band, this week revealed that they have put up huge posters in Hong Kong and six other world cities.

The big images show a QR code and the word "ARMY", which is what BTS fans are called, because these screaming mobs of females (and, er, female-ish persons) are more terrifying than any crack military brigade on earth.

BTS fans have been challenged to photograph all the posters. Gleeful fans found one in Central yesterday.

Please tell any K-pop fans you meet that "the rest are on a rocky ocean outcrop in the middle of the China sea". Thanks.

* * *

How nice of IKEA to include printed instructions to show how to "assemble" a toilet brush, as this picture shows. I would have sat there for hours trying to work it out.

Also, good that they remind buyers that if the instructions are too hard, they should phone for help.

"Hello? Is that police? I'm not sure where to put my toilet brush."

* * *

Twitter yesterday featured a video clip of "the world's richest couple," a pair of "lesbian Korean billionaires" who are "having their honeymoon in Hong Kong." Hundreds of thousands of people have shared stories about this pair of newly weds.

None of it's true.

The videos show K-pop starlet friends who are not gay, nor rich, nor married.

People who analyzed the spread of this fake story said it was irresistible because it involved three things it was fashionable to boost: women, gayness and K-pop.

In other news, this columnist is changing his name to Kim.

* * *

TIP for married men: After clearing your browser history, always do a Google search for topics such as "Gifts for the perfect woman" and "How to be an even better husband". Thank me later.

Talk to me: Send ideas and comments to the author's Facebook page or The Standard's Facebook page

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