Gory game set in world's safest city

Central Station | Nury Vittachi 22 Jan 2019

The world's video game players are ecstatic today as a new ultra-violent title is released - and has mass murder in Hong Kong as its theme.

The game is called The Hong Kong Massacre, and the player becomes a detective running through buildings shooting people, leaving walls and floors splattered with blood.

It has "over-the-top gore," enthuses Sherif Saed on game review site VG247.

In fact, every game review site I looked at yesterday reports gleefully that the game, developed in Sweden, is extremely violent and thus sure to be great fun.

You can hear the drool dripping when you read the previews, all written by men.

This is strong evidence for euthanizing the entire cohort of human males, if only women would realize it.

But seriously, I know we're all supposed to be Western style ultra-liberals these days but this sort of "entertainment" makes me want to take my family and move somewhere deeply conservative like Malaysia or North Korea or Carrie Lam's maiden aunt's spare bedroom.

* * *

And another thing. The Swedish firm that makes this game describes Hong Kong as "a moody, crime-riddled city."

Kong is pretty much the safest major city on the planet!

Police here are going to have to start committing minor crimes themselves, just to have something to do.

Meanwhile, crime rates in Sweden are climbing steadily.

* * *

Reader Gordon Tucker was reading the internet version of an item from this column about Hong Kong's wild boar problem when an ad popped up for the Boar's Head, a restaurant.

Clearly the universe wants us to stop complaining about wild boars and just eat them.

* * *

Correspondents tell me the recent "open day at the Hong Kong sewage works" event that I joked about was interesting.

Among the success stories shared by Hong Kong sewage supremo Edwin Tong was their work on cleaning Hong Kong's central harbor. You can now swim from Hong Kong Island to the Kowloon side without the water killing you (although the boats might).

I'm hoping the harbor's original bioluminescence will one day return. I'll never forget old Horace Kadoorie, God rest his soul, talking about how night-time Star Ferry journeys were truly magical, since each ferryboat was followed by a trail of glowing, glittering water.

* * *

Tracey Panek, who works as official historian for Levis Strauss, the US firm that invented denim jeans, was given a tour of the HSBC archives yesterday.

She was amazed to discover one of our banknotes actually features a picture of a boy wearing jeans.

But don't look for it in your purse. It's on the HK$150 note, a collector's item.

* * *

Hong Kong environmentalist Merrin Pearse was puzzled yesterday that people sitting in Starbucks usually decline the proper mugs and drink from takeaway containers instead. "What am I missing?" he asked.

It's the look, Merrin. The paper cup with its little sleeve establishes it as an iconic designer drink. If I get it in regular mug, it shows the world I am an idiotic fashion victim who has paid a ridiculous HK$42 for a coffee. The truth hurts.

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Thought for the day comes from reader Glenn Henrickson Jr: "In the old days, we didn't have political correctness. We were just nice."

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