A busy Christmas for criminals

Central Station | 27 Dec 2018

On Christmas Day, a man led Hong Kong police on a hair-raising 25-kilometer car chase, sprang from the car, jumped off a bridge onto a roof, leapt off the building and escaped, according to Cable News.

Police, if they find him, will have to charge him with "Behaving As If He Was in an Action Movie."

* * *

Merry Christmas, criminals! A Hong Kong police officer once told me that criminals tend to take the same holidays as normal people, downing tools and heading for hotels at Christmas and Lunar New Year.

But not this year. Bad guys have stayed in town and stayed busy, judging by tales in this columnist's inbox.

Must be the economy.

* * *

Does Hong Kong have a female Fagin? On Christmas Day police revealed that a suspected robber gang they apprehended on Christmas Eve turned out to be an adult female and five boys. Fagin was a fictional crime boss whose henchmen were children.

Oh well, in these #MeToo days, we should applaud a woman taking a leadership role.

* * *

Bishop of Hong Kong Joseph Ha spent Christmas Day hanging out at Stanley Prison with the inmates. His visit reminded me of a comment allegedly made by an inmate on a previous visit from a high level churchman: "After years of waiting, I finally get to see a slim figure in a dress, and it's a bloke."

I remember the first time I saw a real bishop, and was disappointed that he didn't move diagonally.

* * *

Hong Kong Police finally arrested and charged Kieran Donnelly, a Hong Kong westerner with a terrible reputation, Dimsum Daily reported.

For weeks, women have been complaining that this Scotsman gets their attention with invented sob stories and they always end up seriously out of pocket.

Apple Daily even did one of its 3D animation films purporting to show his methods.

At one point, the Scotsman responded with a long, angry letter on the internet, which he later deleted.

But this columnist saw a copy, and it was a blend of angry denials and abject apologies. Not a good mix.

* * *

Readers were amused by the reference in this column to the unfortunate abbreviation of assistant manager as "ass man."

Reader Mary Lee had seen an "Ass Inspector", Semirah Darwin sent a picture of a sign calling for an "Ass Manager" and Sally Andersen shared some "ass fudge."

"There's a big sign over the Senior Citizens' Hall in Los Angeles' Chinatown that says: 'Chinese Senior Ass'," said Angela Lancaster.

Ass-tonishing.

* * *

Hipsters are sniggering at Precious Thots, a chain of gift shops with branches in Hong Kong and elsewhere. In American-originated internet slang, the word "THOT" means "prostitute" (standing for That Ho Over There).

Embarrassed owners are redesigning some of the shop hoardings to spell out "thoughts" spelled correctly instead.

But website names cannot be changed-and theirs is preciousthots.com.

* * *

Hong Kong stock investors are in a nervous state this morning. After the Hong Kong stock market closed at noon on Monday, Wall Street suffered its worst Christmas Eve crash ever.

The Hang Seng Index could drop like a stone today.

The last time this happened, one investor told me: "My stockbroker put me on hold and when he came back to the phone I had nothing left to invest."

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