Dead star wrote of 'silent tears inside heart'Local | Phoenix Un 7 Nov 2018
Actress Yammie Lam Kit-ying wrote in her unpublished autobiography about adopting her father's teachings as well as her early days at TVB.
The phrase "what goes around comes around" was the last entry in her autobiography before she was found dead in her public rental housing flat in Stanley on Saturday.
Lam, 55, lived like a hermit during her final years among neighbors and fellow Catholics in Stanley.
She lived on the dole and received financial assistance from friends and supporters.
She had plans to write an autobiography before she died, and her manuscript reflected her hidden sorrow.
She wrote that her parents had treated her very well, and her father even recorded all her performances on TV.
However, she threw all the tapes away, and later regretted it. Her parents passed away in the 1990s.
She wrote about being in TVB's training classes in 1983. She recalled playing a woman whose lover came back but who was later forced to split up with him.
The scene required her to burst into tears, but said "I was not allowed to cry according to my family's teaching, and I only managed to 'let tears fall silently inside my heart.'"
She also said she recalled by heart her father's teachings, such as the notion of karma in which "what goes around comes around; and the millstones of the gods grind late, but they grind fine."
She wrote about often hearing her father utter the proverbs, which she took to heart.
Hong Kong Performing Artistes Guild president Louis Koo Tin-lok had promised to try his best to help in Lam's funeral, but it is understood her family had declined the offer.
Lam's elder sister, Kit-hing, said her family did not require assistance, adding her sister's body would be cremated after simple rituals.
Her ashes would then be placed at St Anne's Church in Stanley, where she often went for masses during her final years.
The guild said that since was a devout Catholic, a requiem mass would be held on Friday at St Anne's Church.