I've been to zoos in China where the information board by each animal tells you how they are best cooked.

Last year, a real, live dinosaur-era fish was caught by a fisherman in Indonesia, who sold it to a restaurant. What else would you do with rare creatures, other than eat them with XO sauce?

In the end, no one got to have that particular fish for dinner. The coelacanth managed to survive the galactic cataclysm 65 million years ago that destroyed much of life on Earth, but died after just 17 hours of being stared at in an Indonesian noodle-shop fish tank. Who can blame it? I mean, the humiliation. The 50-kilogram corpse was sent to experts who confirmed it was an unknown type of coelacanth, a creature once thought extinct since the Cretaceous era (before the Rolling Stones' first tour).

I myself have encountered living dinosaurs in Asia, spotting several on a recent trip to the Great Hall of the People in Beijing. Horrible, scaly, gray-skinned creatures which lumber around slowly, you certainly wouldn't want to eat them. But setting human dinosaurs aside, let us recognize that it is seriously cool that dinosaurs are alive and well in Asia. It would be cooler still if we could stop eating them. The world may be full of reports of mythical beasts, but the modern- day dinosaurs of Asia-Pacific actually exist, and not just in politics.

The easiest to check out is the tuatara. Just fly to New Zealand and ask to be introduced. It's a scaly creature with the wide-eyed reptilian look of a gecko - or an Eastern European politician. The 80-centimeter beast has spines on its back, three rows of teeth, no ears, no penis, fish-like insides, and a strange, light-detecting lump on its head. Scientists say it is definitely not a lizard. It is either a dinosaur-era relic, or has bizarre, other-worldly origins, coming from outer space, the fifth dimension or some inexplicable, unearthly corner of the world - like Singapore or North Korea.

But my favorite living dinosaur of Asia is the ropen from Papua New Guinea. If this was a UK tabloid newspaper, I would describe it as "The Last Pterodactyl, With Special Glow in the Dark Feature." A scientific reporter would say it was an unclassified flying creature observed to demonstrate bioluminescence. Which means it is the last pterodactyl and comes with a special glow in the dark feature.

The ropen has been famous among locals for years, and biologists have recently been camping in the jungles looking for it. Several have videotaped glowing things that flap through the night sky. I can testify that stars, aircraft and meteors don't flap, unless you've tried the local arrack, after which everything flies around, especially the floor.

Now excuse me while I go off on a dinosaur hunt. I just hope I get to the live food section of the local noodle- shop before the diners do.

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