Saturday, November 1, 2014   




Death and destruction in Asia. Who cares! It's just not 'news'

Monday, April 29, 2013

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Many people couldn't help but notice that the international media was shockingly selective in its news coverage this month.

I know the mind-set of foreign correspondents intimately, so here's an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW on the subject that just occurred in a dark corner of my imagination.

Q: Hundreds of people were killed recently in tragic bombings and earthquakes, particularly in Asia. Why did the global media focus on the tiniest of these events - just three dead in Boston?

A: Because Boston is in the United States, which covers most of the world's surface. Asia is a tiny place on the dark side of the Earth, far away from where most people live.

Q: Actually, I think you'll find the majority of the world's population lives in Asia.

A: No way! We've seen pictures on holiday booking websites. Asia is mostly empty beaches.

Q: Last week, you printed an article about space voyages to Mars. That's further away than Asia.

A: That's bull. Mars is in America. It's a reddish dot in the US night sky.

Q: Anyway, doesn't the international media claim to deliver world news, not just Western news?

A: We do! But you people die in war zones every day. The difference is that Boston was a peaceful town hit by sudden tragedy.

Q: The hundreds who died in China and Pakistan were in peaceful towns hit by sudden tragedy.

A: Look, it's a technical, journalistic thing. Boston had more "news value" than the other stories.

Q: You mean the secret rule that one white person is equivalent to 30 non-whites?

A: That is not true at all! It's at least 50 non-whites. Anyway, I'm going to have to end this and get back to work. There's a MEGA international news story breaking.

Q: Right, the earthquake that just hit Southeast Asian waters?

A: No, I said MEGA. A group of celebrities has just hit a California beach in bikinis to show they have regained their pre-baby bods.

Q: Wow! I'll clear the front page. Cancel the earthquake! *** North Korean officials said they will shortly launch a campaign to bring the US economy to a catastrophic halt. Too late, lads. Some guy called Bush did it five years ago. *** Oscar winner Reese Witherspoon, recently arrested for disorderly conduct, said to cops: "Do you know who I am?" Why do these people always say that? If they know she's a Hollywood brat, doesn't that make it MORE likely she's a crazy drunk they should lock up? *** Thought for the day: I want my children to be strong-minded, independent thinking. Just not while they're living with me.

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