Many people couldn't help but notice that the international media was shockingly selective in its news coverage this month.
I know the mind-set of foreign correspondents intimately, so here's an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW on the subject that just occurred in a dark corner of my imagination.
Q: Hundreds of people were killed recently in tragic bombings and earthquakes, particularly in Asia. Why did the global media focus on the tiniest of these events - just three dead in Boston?
A: Because Boston is in the United States, which covers most of the world's surface. Asia is a tiny place on the dark side of the Earth, far away from where most people live.
Q: Actually, I think you'll find the majority of the world's population lives in Asia.
A: No way! We've seen pictures on holiday booking websites. Asia is mostly empty beaches.
Q: Last week, you printed an article about space voyages to Mars. That's further away than Asia.
A: That's bull. Mars is in America. It's a reddish dot in the US night sky.
Q: Anyway, doesn't the international media claim to deliver world news, not just Western news?
A: We do! But you people die in war zones every day. The difference is that Boston was a peaceful town hit by sudden tragedy.
Q: The hundreds who died in China and Pakistan were in peaceful towns hit by sudden tragedy.
A: Look, it's a technical, journalistic thing. Boston had more "news value" than the other stories.
Q: You mean the secret rule that one white person is equivalent to 30 non-whites?
A: That is not true at all! It's at least 50 non-whites. Anyway, I'm going to have to end this and get back to work. There's a MEGA international news story breaking.
Q: Right, the earthquake that just hit Southeast Asian waters?
A: No, I said MEGA. A group of celebrities has just hit a California beach in bikinis to show they have regained their pre-baby bods.
Q: Wow! I'll clear the front page. Cancel the earthquake! *** North Korean officials said they will shortly launch a campaign to bring the US economy to a catastrophic halt. Too late, lads. Some guy called Bush did it five years ago. *** Oscar winner Reese Witherspoon, recently arrested for disorderly conduct, said to cops: "Do you know who I am?" Why do these people always say that? If they know she's a Hollywood brat, doesn't that make it MORE likely she's a crazy drunk they should lock up? *** Thought for the day: I want my children to be strong-minded, independent thinking. Just not while they're living with me.
Send ideas and comments via www.mrjam.org