Thursday, November 26, 2015   

Chicken tikka masala arrived in Oz long before Captain Cook

Monday, January 28, 2013


A group of Asian sailors reached Australia 4,000 years before Captain Cook, scientists recently learned.

And all Australian dogs - known as dingoes - are probably descended from the dogs on that ship, the same studies revealed.

Aboriginals have south Asian DNA. Wow, just imagine that first historic encounter.

Indian sailor: Namaste, esteemed indigenous persons! How would you like us to address you? Aboriginals, Maoris?

Aboriginal: G'day, mate. The Maoris are next door. We use clan names, so I'm a Koori.

Sailor: Really? That is similar to our word "curry," which we use for food. This, for example, is a delicious curry called fish tikka masala.

Aboriginal: Strewth! Smells ripper. But tell me, why do some of you have four legs and go round sniffing people's bottoms?

Sailor: We are calling those members of our team "dogs." They eat the rodents on our ship. We note you have many giant rodents hopping around.

Aboriginal: No worries, they can eat as many kangas as they like. We're overrun with the buggers.

Indian dog: Woohoo! Food City!

And so, with a meeting something like the above, the dingo was born, and Asian and Australian gene pools were joined forever. *** I love reading the "world news." The Japanese government last week said it may re-introduce a six-day work week. The same day, the president of Gambia said his civil servants will work only four days a week "because of public demand." Is this why Asia is developing faster than Africa?

Gambia really seems to think we'll believe the government is giving itself a three-day weekend every week only because taxpayers are standing outside chanting: "Work less! Work less!" If it was China, where government employees spend so much time mistreating the general population, I could believe that. *** Washington woman Donna Lange, 51, was accused of smothering her boyfriend to death with her breasts. Was the corpse smiling? *** Beijing just passed a new law forcing children to visit their parents, or face jail time. I see two problems here.

First, some young people who will say: "A week in jail, or at mom's? SAME THING."

Second, some parents hate their children, and would be anxious to claim the week in jail for themselves.

Luckily for all concerned, the law- drafters forgot to say how often visits should take place, providing a loophole: "Your honor, I fully intended to visit my parents once every 150 years - sadly, they died before my first visit."

Send ideas and comments via

© 2015 The Standard, The Standard Newspapers Publishing Ltd.
Contact Us | About Us | Newsfeeds | Subscriptions | Print Ad. | Online Ad. | Street Pts


Home | Top News | Local | Business | China | ViewPoint | CityTalk | World | Sports | People | Central Station | Spree | Features

The Standard

Trademark and Copyright Notice: Copyright 2015, The Standard Newspaper Publishing Ltd., and its related entities. All rights reserved.  Use in whole or part of this site's content is prohibited.   Use of this Web site assumes acceptance of the
Terms of Use, Privacy Policy Statement and Copyright Policy.  Please also read our Ethics Statement.